Tami's Meandering Thoughts

“If a person sins and does what is forbidden in any of the Lord’s commands, even though he does not know it, he is guilty and will be held responsible. He is to bring to the priest as a guilt offering a ram from the flock, one without defect and of the proper value. In this way the priest will make atonement for him for the wrong he has committed unintentionally, and he will be forgiven.”
Leviticus 6:18

This morning did not go so well. Have you ever had a morning like that? Because of my need to get things done and my desire to meet everyone’s needs, I got frustrated when I was unable to solve a problem so that everyone was satisfied with the outcome. Then, because I was frustrated with myself and the situation, I became frustrated with the kids. As the old saying goes, “When mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” Because of my sin of frustration, my entire family suffered. I will admit (and I plan to ask for my kids’ forgiveness tonight at supper) that I was wrong. I clearly sinned.

Sin is an interesting thing. As in the case of this morning, I know I was in the wrong for getting frustrated with the kids. I know I sinned; therefore it is relatively easy to admit my guilt, ask for forgiveness from both God and my children and desire reconciliation. However, have you ever stopped to think about all the sin we commit that we don’t know about? What happens with that?

Well, a few weeks ago I discovered another aspect of God’s love in Leviticus (I told you I would write about this! hehe). Leviticus is full of all the requirements for sacrifices, offerings, and penalties for sin. It would be very easy to read through this book and come away with the idea that God is an exacting God who expects people to meet seemingly impossible requirements. However, Leviticus does not begin with the laws about uncleanliness, punishments or rule after rule. No, Chapters 4-5 begin the list of laws by showing God’s love. Why do I say that? These chapters, right at the beginning of the list of rules, states what to do if you sin unintentionally.

God, knowing that there is no way that anyone can live up to his holy requirements, begins with forgiveness. That’s what struck me as I read these verses. Paragraph after paragraph starts with, “If __________ (leader, community…) sins unintentionally, then you should…..and you will be forgiven.” You will be forgiven. You will be forgiven. That is pretty powerful. We can be sure that we will sin. We also know that there will be times when we are not even aware that we have sinned against God. In both of those instances, all we need to do is ask for forgiveness, and it will be granted. In fact, because we no longer live under the Old Testament sacrificial system, we don’t even need to bring a ram. We just need to ask. God shows his love by beginning the list of rules by offering forgivenss. That’s awesome.

Of course, attaining this forgiveness does require our humbleness. We need to be aware that, even if we do not intentionally sin, we often will violate God’s holiness unintentionally. We sin even though we are not aware of it. Our humility becomes necessary as we ask for God’s forgiveness for our unintentional sins. We can pray that God will make us aware of our sin; we can also pray that he will forgive us as we unintentionally sin. And, since God is love, he will forgive when we ask. That’s a forgiving God; that is a loving God.

I know I told you that I would write about Love in Leviticus, but another week has flown by, and I have not sat down to do it. Then, as I was reading yesterday, this chapter hit me so hard, I decided I had to write about this. You have probably heard Psalm 42 read, and you have probably read it yourself. I know I have. However, the Bible is an amazing book because, no matter how many times you have read something, you can always learn something new or get some new comfort out if it. Because this is a whole chapter, I will just insert some of my thoughts throughout the verses.

Have you ever felt far away from God? Perhaps you are even feeling that way right now. I know I periodically go through times when, no matter how much I pray or read the Bible, God still seems far away. Well, if that is a phenomenon that you have experienced, then this psalm is for you (and me!).

As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God? My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?”

Can you hear this person’s anguish? Here is a person who longs to commune with God. From this picture, you can imagine that this person spends time praying, studying the Scriptures, and even weeping as he asks for God’s guidance, teaching, comfort, and presence. From the next verses we see that this person is not seeking a first-salvation experience, but rather this person has been an ardent follower of God. Someone who has led worship and been a spiritual leader….

These things I remember, as I pour out my soul: how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival.

Interesting, isn’t it? Even this strong leader who has an incredible worship-life now feels far away from God. I think that is very comforting! I don’t think we will ever be so spiritually strong that we will not have those times of feeling a desperate thirst for God because he seems far away at the moment.

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. My soul is cast down within me; therefore I remember you from the land of Jordan and of Hermon, from Mount Mizar.

I LOVE THIS PART!! Do you see what helps this person through his “down” time? He remembers back to the time when he did feel God’s presence, and from that he KNOWS that God is faithful. Hope in God. God answered in the past, and God WILL answer again. Sometimes, when we are at the low-points of life, one of the things that we can do is to remind ourselves of who God is. Then we can hope – we can know that the season of despair that we are in is only temporary. We will get through this because God is faithful. God is love. God will not truly abandon us. Our soul might feel cast down, but we will arise out of our pit and be a vibrant, praising person again. But we must hope. We must not abandon God in our despair.

Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have gone over me. By day the LORD commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life. I say to God, my rock: “Why have you forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?” As with a deadly wound in my bones, my adversaries taunt me, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?”

It sounds like this person is at the bottom – waterfalls, breakers and waves are washing over him. However, even at the bottom, covered in seaweed and scum, this person puts his hope and trust in God’s steadfast love. The love that will not abandon the person, even though it feels like it is nowhere around. Everything and everyone around us might bring us depression, but we can fight against it and hope in God.

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.

Again, the writer questions his soul. “Why in the world are you depressed? God has never abandoned me. I remember those times when I knew God was real. Hold onto that, and God will get me through.” I don’t know what your soul’s situation is right now: exuberant, despairing, depressed, joyful, worshipful? If you are on a “high” remember this time. Take note of all the ways God is faithful and true. And, if you are in a “low,” hold on. Look back to God’s faithfulness in the past. Thirst for God. Take time to pray, read the Scriptures, reflect on the steadfast love of God that he has displayed throughout your life and in history. God is faithful. God is love. Yes, there will be the low times – we all have them. However, we can hold onto the love of God.

“They built the altar of burnt offering of acacia wood, three cubits high; it was square, five cubits long and five cubits wide.”
Exodus 38:1

As you know (see previous entry), I am looking for ways that God shows his love in the Old Testament. This past week I finished reading Exodus and dug into Leviticus. And, guess what? I did find examples of God’s love. For instance, read the verse above. Isn’t that an amazing picture of the love of God? LOL You are probably (hopefully) laughing. However, believe it or not, this very verse DID show me again how much God is love.

Think about it…when God commanded many of the articles of the tabernacle to be built (including the altar, the Ark of the Covenant, and the poles to carry the items with), they were all to be made out of acacia wood. Does that strike you as odd? It did me. I mean, where did they get that wood? Here they are, walking through the desert, and God tells them to make items from a specific kind of wood. I understand how they got the gold and gems they needed. The Bible specifically states that, when the Israelites were leaving, “the Lord made the Egyptians favorably disposed toward the people, and they gave them what they asked for; so they plundered the Egyptians.” (Ex. 12:36) From this verse, I can see the Egyptian women giving the Israelite women their earrings, necklaces, and candlesticks. However, how did they get acacia wood? And then it hit me…

While the women were busy in the homes, getting the precious metals, where do you suppose the men were? Out in back, by the wood pile, talking with the other guys. Can you hear them?

Israelite: “Wow, that is some wood pile you got there.”
Egyptian: “Yeah, you should have seen how long it took me to cut down that tree. It was the one over by the crick…the great big one with the hawk’s nest on top.”
Israelite: “Yeah, I’ve seen that tree. My family and I have gone swimming over in that swimming hole. That is sure some good lumber you got there.”
Egyptian: “Well, would you like some of it?”
Israelite: “What? You mean you would give me some of those swell boards you have?”
Egyptian: “Sure, for you – anything.”
Israelite (wondering to himself, as he shoulders some 2×4’s): “Oh, I just can’t wait to show my wife this great lumber I got to take on the trip. I wonder what she got?”

LOL OK, so I’ll up-front admit that that is all pure speculation. We have no idea how they got all this acacia wood while wandering in the desert. However they got it, whether they plundered that lumber from the Egyptians, along with the gold and precious gems, or whether they cut it down on their trek, the fact is – they got it. Somehow God gave them the acacia wood that they needed. In fact, as Moses asked everyone to donate items for the building of the temple, it says that the Israelites brought their gold, silver, and acacia wood (read it – Exodus 35:24). People had acacia wood to donate to the project.

How does this possession of acacia wood show God’s love? Again it shows me how God provides. No, he may not always provide your life with experiences or possessions that are as exquisite as gold or precious gems. Perhaps what he is providing for you right now is on the precious-metal scale of lumber. In other words, your life experiences and possessions do not seem all that impressive, rare or spectacular. However, whenever you begin thinking that your life isn’t all that fantastic, take a minute and thank God for what you do have. Perhaps you have lumber right now – but just think – if the Israelites had scorned the lumber as they grabbed for the gold in Egypt, then they would not have had the proper supplies for serving God. God loved them enough to give them lumber.

Well, I told you I had found love in Leviticus also. However, because it is almost midnight, and because this is long enough, I’ll save it for another time!

“The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty.”
Exodus 34:6-7

Last week, as Tim was preaching in Genesis 3, he pointed out that, although we usually think of that chapter as one full of God’s judgment, it is actually full of his love and mercy. Here we read of Adam and Eve sinning, but instead of killing them as the punishment was supposed to be, God instead found them, talked with them, and even killed some of his creation to make clothes for them. His actions, even in the midst of their sin, was loving, merciful, and gracious. Yes, there were still consequences, but his love is apparent in the midst of those consequences (one of the consequences being spiritual death). All week I have continued to ponder that thought. I suppose that is why, on Wednesday morning, as I read the above verses from Exodus 34, God’s description of himself seemed so appropriate.

Read the verses. God proclaims that he is merciful and gracious. He does not get angry easily. In fact, his love and faithfulness are so steady that they span all generations. He is quick to forgive. However, because he is just, he also must punish the guilty who do not repent. Think about those descriptions. Isn’t that amazing? That’s the God we serve! Thank God!

After reading those verses, and in light of Tim’s description of God’s love even in a chapter that we usually think of his judgment, I decided to try something. Before I tell you what it is (don’t you love suspense?), I’ll ask you a question. How do you view the Old Testament? Would you read the Old or New Testament if you wanted comfort as you sought assurance of God’s love? Probably most of us would choose the New Testament. So, my “experiment” is this: Every day, as I read through the Old Testament, I am going to try to find examples of God’s love in the passages I read. I know it will take awhile (all year, in fact), and I probably won’t be on here blogging about everything I’ve found. In fact, if you are reading the Old Testament and try this, you will probably find different scenes of God’s love than I will. However, no matter what I find, I think that will be an eye-opening study for me as I realize how loving and merciful God actually is.

So, are you ready for the first one? The next day I was to read Exodus 35:10 – 36:38 (I am reading through the Bible in a year, so I am reading assigned passages). This passage shows the Israelites following God’s instructions as they donated items and began building the tabernacle. Now, God’s blue-print for this movable-church was very specific. There were to be ornate gold engravings, beautiful woven tapestries, and a specific framework. For a group of people that had just come from making bricks as slaves, this seems like it would be a daunting task. However – notice God’s love!

“Bezaleel and Oholiab and every craftsman in whom the LORD had put skill and intelligence to know how to do any work in the construction of the sanctuary shall work in accordance with all that the LORD has commanded” (36:1). God did not leave them high and dry. God did have extremely specific demands. However, he didn’t just lay out the plans and then leave as these former straw-and-mud brickmakers struggled to figure out how to engrave intricate gold cherubim. God gave them the skills they would need. By providing them with everything they would need, including the skills and intelligence that would be required, God showed his love. It seems that God wants us to succeed as we seek to obey him.

How does that make you feel? God will not ask you to do anything that he has not equipped you to do. He is not out to get you and prove how much you fail. No, God, in his love, will give you what you need to take the next step in following him. Again, Thank God!

Just a note for all of you who use our website (www.wobconline.com) to access this blog. As you notice, the format has changed. Amanda, who had graciously and wonderfully set up our old website, is in the process of updating it all. I am not sure of the format that it will end up with, but so far it looks like she has some neat ideas!

I wanted first to let you know that, for now, I cannot update the calendar or any of the information. That is why there are prayer requests from a very long time ago (I am sure she just pulled from something in the past), and the times of our services are also from a few years ago. She has kept a link to this blog, but right now it is at the bottom of the page instead of the top (I don’t know if it will stay that way!).

The other thing I wanted to say was that if you know Amanda, please say “Thank you” to her. She is doing all of this free of charge. We appreciate her generosity.

Thanks for being patient with the website. Feel free to email me (you can leave a message here and it will still come to my email) if you have any questions about times, the calendar or anything.

-Tami

“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”
Titus 2:3-5

As many of you know, in January we began an Apples of Gold program at the church. Based on Titus 2:3-5, this program brings together 4-5 older women and 4-5 younger women for eight weeks (one morning/week) for a group mentor experience. Each week the older women mentors take turns teaching some favorite recipe while giving some cooking tips and then a mentor teaches a lesson on one of the topics in the above Titus verses: loving husbands, loving children, pure, kind, submissive to husbands, hospitality, and keepers of the home. We then end the morning with a wonderful lunch made up of the meal created in the first hour. It has been a wonderful few weeks so far!

Well, I was assigned to teach the lesson on purity this morning. This is a topic that we all need help in, isn’t it?! The list of actions, thoughts and words that makes us impure is long: murder, sexual immorality, slander, anger, envy, bitterness. Most of us probably do not struggle in the “big” areas. However, I can guarantee that we all struggle with selfishness, anger, complaining and/or slander. I don’t know what you are struggling with, but I was so convicted of the universality of our impurity, that I decided this week I would write about it here.

We all battle with impurity. Admit it, a comment comes out before we realize it. Our anger explodes. We complain about someone or something. We battle sexually iimmoral thoughts. Even after we become Christians, we still battle our sinful nature because it just keeps cropping up. What do we do about that? This morning we talked about six steps we can take to keep our lives pure. Obviously this is not an exhaustive list, but hopefully it will remind each of us to be continually aware of what in our lives is impure and what we need to ask God to work on .

1. Ask God to show you how you are impure. We should spend time with God, asking him to show us the impurity in our lives. I think sometimes we have impurity, but we do not even realize it!

2. Admit your impurity to God. Ask for God’s forgiveness and admit that you would like to be clean from that impurity. Do you have a spirit that is willing to change, to get rid of the impurity that God shows you? That is a primary step in seeking purity.

3. Ask God for help in overcoming that impurity. Ask him to show us in-the-moment as we are allowing impurity into our lives. Based on 1 Corinthians 10:13, we can be sure that God does not allow us to be tempted beyond what he can help us handle. Ask God for strength, wisdom and courage to overcome.

4. Believe that God does forgive and love you no matter what your sin. There is nothing that you have done, thought or said that would shock him. He forgives every and all sin because he loves you as his child.

5. Memorize Scripture that pertains to the specific sin that you are dealing with. When we have those verses in our hearts, they will pop into our minds and help us as we seek to be pure.

6. Have an accountability partner. Sometimes it is helpful to have someone who will ask how you are doing in a certain area. Be sure you choose a Christian who will keep your confidence, who is spiritually wise, and who you trust. Make sure you are honest with your accountability partner!

We all struggle with impurity. The consolation is – you are not alone! Although we may not all struggle with the same impurities, we do all struggle. Please know that if any of you need someone to talk with, I am here. Please feel free to contact me.
I will leave you with the verse we closed with this morning – my prayer for all of you:

“This is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.”
Philippians 1:9-11

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.
Genesis 1:26-27

A few weeks ago Tim preached on Genesis 1. As he expounded on the power of God, the ability of God to create, and the desire of God for order out of chaos, I realized that, although I have traditionally thought Genesis 1 was about the creation of the world, it actually includes quite a bit of detail about God’s personality and character traits. God wants order. God is powerful. God is creative. God loves beauty. God wants relationship. And then there comes an amazing two verses…God created two beings in his own image: man and woman.

There is quite a bit of controversy over what it means for people to be “created in the image of God,” and since it is only mentioned here, in Genesis 9, and in 1 Corinthians 11:7, the controversy is understandable. We don’t know what it means. However, as I listened to the sermon that Sunday, it became a little clearer in my mind.

I think to begin to understand it, we can look at the context of the verses and ask, “Who is God?” God is so powerful that he can command matter, light, electrons, etc. God loves beauty so he created flowers, trees and birds. God desired order, not chaos, so he is an amazing organizer – so much so that he organized creation to be able to reproduce and sustain itself. God is creative – who else would have thought up a giraffe? God loves relationship and so he created people. Think of those traits. Now think of humans. We have those exact traits, just on a (much) smaller scale.

People are powerful. They can make decisions for their lives, family, city, or nation, depending on the individual. People love beauty – that is why we spend so much money on flowers, pretty china, and candles. People can create order (although to prove this please look at my filing cabinets, not my sock drawer!). People are creative – human artists, sculptors, and computer graphics designers abound. People love relationship – just look at the popularity of facebook. That Sunday it hit me – people are in the image of God because people exhibit all of God’s traits, just in varying degrees and on a much smaller scale.

What does this mean for you and I? It means that, if we want to know God better, one way would be to study people (although remember that the personality and character traits of people have been tainted by sin). It also means that we should value people and their talents. Someone who is good at organizing is not less than someone who can create beauty by playing an instrument. No, each person is just exhibiting a different characteristic of God. It also means that we should value and use our own talents. God is showing the world a little bit of his personality as we exhibit our abilities (thus we should also not be prideful about our talents – really we are just exhibiting who God is!).

We are created in the image of God. You have God’s personality – just on a much smaller scale and tainted by selfish sin. You are a small image, a reflection, a mirror of God. Wow.

“But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.”
Matthew 15:18-19

Today the weather has been CRAZY! This morning, as I waited in a drive-up line at the bank, a viscous wind broke off some branches of the nearby trees, and they came flying toward the car. Later, as I parked at the store, I made sure that there were no trees nearby! Then, on facebook tonight, I read of a friend’s trials in Vestal as the firemen had to rescue her and her baby from their house because the flood waters were rising so quickly. Around here, I did not hear of that much flooding, but I do know that power lines were down. Although we only lost electricity briefly, Miriam came home from school early (no basketball practice today) because of their loss of electricity. Actually, I want to tell you her story because it so encouraged and yet convicted me.

Apparently the power went out before lunch. This means that all electronic items used in the lunchroom were out – thus getting through the lunch line took much longer than usual. Miriam said all afternoon classes were in a bit of a confusion since there were no lights and no computers – complete power out. In fact, there was also no water. Apparently the administration was going to send the students home early, but multiple power lines were down around the school – lying across the road – so there was no leaving the school.

During one of the many “slow” times of the day, some of Miriam’s friends began panicking about what was going to happen to them. They wondered if they could go home that night, and where would they sleep, if they had to stay at the school (can you just hear a group of 7th grade girls feeding on each other’s panic?). What would they eat? How would they stay warm? Etc., etc., At one point, one of Miriam’s friends apparently turned to her and said, “Miriam, will you pray for us?” Can you even believe it??? Miriam said that after she prayed, she began telling them the story of Joseph. When I asked what part of the story, she said, “Well, pretty much the whole thing – but just an overview, really.” She wanted to let them know that God is with us even if we can’t always see him, so she told them of how Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery, how he was then lied about and put into prison, and then how he rose to power so he could help the people during the famine. She told of how Joseph trusted God throughout all the bad times in his life. She said that as she was telling the story other girls joined their group, and when she was done they applauded!

As I said, I was so encouraged and convicted. Miriam, not afraid to stand up and say what she believes, not only lived her Christian life today, but actually verbally encouraged others with what she knows. I am so proud of her. I am also convicted. These words that came from Miriam as she comforted her peers today had to have come from a heart rooted in the desire to glorify God. The fact that she did not cower in embarrassment as someone asked her to pray, but instead added a Bible story to the moment, helps me see her heart. And I wonder – when I was in junior high, did my mouth display a heart like this? In fact, it makes me examine what my mouth now shows about my heart. And so I am convicted by my daughter’s tongue. After I read the above verse from Matthew about the evil that comes from the heart and out through the mouth, I read this verse from Psalms. As we think about how we would have handled the situation, I leave you with this…

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.”
Psalm 19:14

“During wheat harvest, Reuben went out into the fields and found some mandrake plants, which he brought to his mother Leah. Rachel said to Leah, ‘Please give me some of your son’s mandrakes.’ But she said to her, “Wasn’t’ it enough that you took away my husband? Will you take my son’s mandrakes too?’ ‘Very well,’ Rachel said, ‘he can sleep with you tonight in return for your son’s mandrakes.’”
Genesis 30:14-17

This year one of the Christmas presents I received was an English Standard Version One-Year Bible. I had asked for this particular Bible because a few years ago I used the One-Year New Living Translation and had a wonderful time reading through the entire Bible in a year. To change it up a bit, I asked for this new version. I am so enjoying it! This morning as I was preparing for my devotions, I began looking at the cover of the Bible. It is a simple cover, turquoise, with a single bright red leaf. It wasn’t actually the leaf that caught my attention, however. It was the shadow behind the leaf. Now, the shadow was nothing special. No, it was a simple grey shadow. I guess it caught my attention more because it was there than anything else. The artist did not need to include the shadow. However, because of the shadow, the leaf had a beautiful depth to it. The leaf would not have been nearly so striking without its shadow. What a wonderful illustration of our own shadows…

We all have a shadow of our past, whether it is the past of yesterday or the past of ten years ago. Our past clings to us, adding depth to our personalities and lives just as the leaf’s shadow added depth to the leaf. You know, I cannot change my past, nor can you change yours. It is there, as part of our shadow, for good or for bad. It is a part of who we are. It does seem, however, that we have a choice in how to view our shadow-past. We can either wallow in its darkness, allowing our past to swallow us and cover us in a blackness. Or, like the leaf, we can allow our past to accentuate our present – make us more beautiful and add depth to our character. How do we do that? By allowing our past to help us make today’s choices. In other words, we cannot control our past – it is done, a shadow that will not leave. However, we can control our present attitude and action. In fact, as we grow more beautiful with godly character, our shadow past will actually accentuate our beauty rather than destroy it. Are you completely confused by my thoughts? God must have known you would be, because as I was reading my devotions a perfect example popped out at me.

Just to give you a little background to Genesis 30…Jacob fell in love with Rachel and wanted to marry her. However, Rachel’s dad tricked him and, on the wedding night, the dad put Rachel’s older sister Leah in the wedding tent instead of Rachel (remember, this was in pre-electric light time – have you ever been in a pitch-black tent? I can see the confusion). Anyway, Jacob woke up the next morning, realized that he just “sealed the deal” with Leah and so, the following week was allowed to marry Rachel as well. Which wife do you think Jacob favored? You guessed it – Rachel. God, seeing Leah’s distress at being the unloved wife, quickly gave her a son, Reuben. Now, Reuben gets older. He must be aware of this sibling rivalry between his mom and his aunt (who are both married to his father). Not only that, but each sister then insists that Jacob “marries” their servant girls so they would gain Jacob’s favor. Talk about a dysfunctional family!

Anyway, one day little-boy Reuben is out and finds some mandrakes, which he quickly takes home to his mother as a present. I used to love it when my children brought in flowers they had picked for me (Even though they were usually dandelions, I would display them proudly in a vase). You would think that Leah would have oohed and aahed over them, but no. Instead, she trades them to Rachel for a night with Jacob. Yep. Poor little Reuben! His mother spurned his present for a night of frolic. Reuben’s dysfunctional past does not stop there, however.

Later in life Reuben himself makes an extremely poor decision as he decides to sleep with the servant girl that Rachel (his aunt) had given to his father as a concubine (Gen. 35:22). Why did he do this? Who knows. Perhaps, knowing of the rivalry that existed between Leah and Rachel, Reuben was trying to one-up Rachel (and show support to his mother) by mocking Rachel’s servant. We really don’t know. However, we do know that Reuben’s shadow continued to deepen.

You would think that, with all this dysfunction, Reuben was destined for a life of poor choices. However, the leaf does not have to wallow in the darkness of the past. No, the last stories we know of Reuben are of when he stands up to his brothers as they want to harm Joseph (Gen. 37:22), and then of his extreme sorrow when he discovered his brother’s treachery against Joseph (Gen. 37:29). The last mention of Reuben is when he deals lovingly and self-sacrificially with his father during the famine (Gen. 42:37).

You know, if we only had the later stories of Reuben, we would only see a bright red leaf and think, “How pretty. What a nice guy he was.” However, because we know some of his shadows, of his dysfunctional background and poor choices, we can see the true beauty of his later choices.

How are you dealing with the dysfunction and poor choices of your yesterdays? We all fail, but we do not have to continue to live in the darkness of our failure. Yes, our history will affect our present, but instead of letting it darken, we can allow it to add depth to our personality. We all can be a bright red, unique, beautiful leaf with a shadow that adds depth to our present.

“They shouted back, ‘No, not him! Give us Barabbas!’ Now Barabbas had taken part in a rebellion.”
John 18:40

Here we are, at the beginning of 2010, and many people have made some sort of resolution. I’ll admit, I gave up on resolutions long ago because I rarely kept them so they ended up just being a source of discouragement! I have never lost all the weight I wanted, cleaned the house more thoroughly or been more on top of my meal planning because of a New Year’s resolution! However, even though I don’t usually make resolutions, I do often think about the upcoming year and hope.

For instance, I hope that my family stays safe and healthy this year. I hope that Tim’s job remains stable. I hope that my character grows more godly and that my attitudes become more mature. I hope that we have enough food, warmth and clothing to make it through another year. I hope that the garden will do well again. I hope that Tim and my relationship continues to deepen. Now, because I am a Christian, my hope is not just a vapor that wisps away into a void. No, my hope is backed by prayer to the all-powerful, all-loving God. My hopes for this year can rest in the rock of Jesus. As I thought about my hopes for the new year, I was struck with the misplaced hope of the Jews in John 18.

I am sure you have heard the account. Jesus has been handed over, by the Jews, to Pilate who proceeds to question him. Finding nothing worthy of death, Pilate offers to use an annual tradition of releasing one prisoner in order to free Jesus. However, the Jews shouted that they wanted Pilate to release Barabbas instead. Who is Barabbas?

In my mind I have always pictured Barabbas quite a bit like he was portrayed in The Passion of the Christ. Dirty, stringy, long hair hanging on shoulders made bare because of his torn clothing. His sneering smile appears even more sinister because many of his teeth are missing, and his one good eye leers out at a crowd that obviously despises him. This time, however, I wondered. How in the world did the Jewish leaders get the crowd to demand Barabbas’ release? Surely the crowd would rather have the man who they had flocked to earlier in the week rather than this smelly, dirty, leering criminal. What do we really know about Barabbas?

We don’t know much. All we know is that he was in prison because he had murdered at least one person and because he was a leader in a rebellion (Luke 23:19, John 18:40). Hmmm. Who was he rebelling against? Who did he murder? Obviously we don’t really know, but I wonder if he was not like what I had previously envisioned (and what the movie portrayed). We do know that many of the Jews of that day hated being under the rule of Rome. Perhaps Barabbas was not a despised criminal, but rather he was a well-dressed, charismatic leader who had been so successful in rallying and unifying the Jews that Rome had imprisoned him. Perhaps he had murdered not an innocent Jewish citizen, but a Roman soldier. To me that would answer the question of why the Jews so quickly deserted Jesus and demanded Barabbas’ release.

You see, they had flocked to Jesus at the beginning of the week. However, now Jesus was bruised, bleeding and appeared beaten. Rome seemed to have power over Jesus. There was no hope in freedom from Rome through this beaten man. However, Barabbas offered hope. Barabbas was a successful leader. Get him out of jail, and perhaps Rome would be beaten. It’s all about hope. From all appearances, they should want the hope that Barabbas offered. However, that hope was a wisp of vapor that would disappear in a void because that hope was based on nothing but human desire. The irony is, these people killed the only person who could actually give them hope, and yet it was because of his death that future generations could gain true hope.

And so we hope. I know I am speculating about Barabbas, but the speculation helped me put my own hopes for this year in perspective. We need to keep our view on what truly gives credence to our hopes. In other words, we can and should hope, but our hope should not be based on human achievement or vaporous possibilities. Hope like that will fail just as Barabbas failed in bringing freedom to the Jews. Our hopes for this year are backed by prayer to this Jesus who can offer true answers to the hope that we have.